A while back, I’d say around 7 weeks ago, my buddy told me about this new place in town that, according to him, has the best wings around. This is huge news. Monumental, even. When I was a kid, just about legal drinking age time, a new sports bar opened and it was shiny and great and had all the TVs including little private ones at many of the smaller tables. I would not like to say exactly how long ago that was right now. But on top of all of that they had, hands down, the best wings around. Huge. So good. Over the years the place started to slide, and with it so did the quality of the wings. It died a slow death that I know more about than I should but it’s not germane to the story so I digress.
I obsess. I am aware. See, about 7 weeks ago is when I started my diet/weight loss contest at the gym. Yes, I know, I’ve covered this multiple times. Obsessed. I get it. But it is what my spring break is. Tomorrow I do my second to last weigh in. The thing ends the following week. Finally. I have been in the lead by 2 percent at least from week one. I won the thing last year. Among the prizes for first place is 6 months free gym membership. But I know that’s not the main prize.
I am now being pushed. The lead has been cut to 1.5 percentage points. Someone is working very hard. I have this break all mapped out so I can do two a days. This includes a couple very early days for session one the next two days due to my daughter’s karate and a promised Captain Marvel excursion and then a dentist appointment and our annual Cubs opening day festivities. I’m still going to try and get two in both days. If I can get to Friday I’m golden.
I walked out of gym session two and was viciously assaulted by the thick aroma of literally every suburban everybody grilling out in the sun. Yikes. Not only do I super stereotypically as a dad guy love to BBQ, love the smell, the process, etc – but the first few times every year it hits me in the sad nostalgia hole back to when I owned a house and had a Weber charcoal grill that I made magic with on the reg. Ugh. Whatever. I tucked my nose in my shirt to shield it from the noxious deliciousness and got the heck right out of there.
At this point in my day I have gotten both two hour workouts in and until I sat down had not yet eaten a bite. Well, I broke down at the store since I had to grab a couple things anyways and added to my stock of 2 lbs of baby carrots, sliced mango, two apples I’ve been saving that was gifted me by my teaching partner, 2 oranges, and a banana. Don’t get sushi, don’t get sushi – I chanted to myself at the store and instead I opted for three-quarters of a pound of on sale roast beef and a thing of awesome looking mustard. I squirt a line and roll it up. So as I’m typing with a mouth full of mango I have to admit that this was one time where the lady showed me the first deli counter slice and asked if I’d like to eat it as a sample, that I melted. In that moment I loved that lady from her hair net to her comfortable yet handsome footwear. Good call on the meat. It’s not the best for you. I know that. I really like it but my go-to at Jimmy Johns is the turkey unwich because I know (I think) it’s a little better for you than roast beef. But whatever – that’s not what makes me take pause. It’s three-quarters of a pound. I can quantify how much weight I’m adding tonight when I plow through it. Which I most definitely will.
I’m sorry. I will find other things to write about between now and the end. I’m thinking maybe one more post if tomorrow’s results are posted before Slice ends. I’m sure that homestretch will wrench a post from me. I had this big idea for today’s post. Deep stuff. But, obsessed. Saturday after next is my last weigh in. The Cubs play at 6 and my kids don’t have baseball and my mom will still be in town for a visit. I can wait for those wings until then. I really can. I can do it. Seriously. Ugh. My buddy says they’re the best around and something tells me regardless if he’s correct or not, on that glorious day, he will be. My kids and my mom celebrating the end of this dumb thing I signed up for.
On that day it doesn’t matter if I come in first or third or whatever. Honestly everyone who signed up for this thing, and really everyone who doesn’t need to do some weird contest to try and better themselves in any way be it physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally or otherwise, should celebrate the fact that they’ve tried. Whether they go full-boat obsession or just pick away, trying is what pushes our ability to evolve into something better than we are. I need that. I have needed this obsession because it is a positive one. It’s why I keep so busy. “Idle hands”, and all. So thank you for indulging me as I do the opposite and deprive myself. Tomorrow I’ll fend off hunger by promising to notice something else to write about. But for now, I have a bag of meat to swallow.