writer wrong -the search for authenticity

(day 30)

One day to go. 31 days to some may not be a lot but, guys, to some people 31 days is everything. To some it’s more than everything whether they know it or not. We’ve agreed to be in this thing all together for 31 days and that’s something on this planet where everyone is at everyone’s fingertips yet so, so far away.

 

Tomorrow is the last day and I’ve been thinking how to wrap up. If you’ve read any of my stuff you can probably tell I’m not the kind of guy who’s final post will be something like – “that was fun, I pushed myself and grew and read a lot of great stuff and am so glad it’s over!” I am in no way disparaging those of you for whom I’ve just summed up tomorrow’s post. I wish I could clean cut say stuff like that. Sigh. I can’t. I need a way to tie it in to the whole experience and I need to write so much that anyone who clicks on my thing passes right by because ain’t no one got time for that.

 

Last year for my second to last post I posted reflections I did for each of my posts the next day throughout the 31 days. I kept track and then by day 30 I basically had the thing written and it was fun looking back on the month. I did not do that this time. So it looks like my second to last Slice will be me worrying about how I’m going to wrap things up tomorrow. Sounds about right. Haha. Awesome.

 

Seeking inspiration I just looked up last year’s final post and the first thing I can say is I can’t believe anyone read any of my stuff. Geez. I really like to hear my fingers click keys I guess. But there is something in that post I’ve lacked this year. I remember creating that post. Like this year I thought ahead of time about how to wrap up the challenge and began and edited and worked on the 2018 swan song. After a few paragraphs though I remember it all just falling out. Venom and fire and love and tears just flying out and I didn’t care what it looked like or sounded like because it was my last gasp and I was going to go for it. Writing about writing. About honesty and purity and life itself. I made myself read it again and yes it is cringeworthy overall for sure but I bleed through lots and for that I am kind of proud.

 

This year I decided to specifically aim for positivity. I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep it up the whole time and I didn’t but I think the trying may have limited me. I am aware that I still don’t really do this thing right. My tangents and paragraphs and consciousness streams that wind into oblivions of self centered nothingness. But it’s like this year has a filter on it. I gave myself a lens through which to write and attempted to adhere to it so it’s fine but I’m left thinking it took a chunk out of who I am on these pages and so I think I may try to wrap up tomorrow by at least addressing, if not partially remedying, that plastic scratch of inauthenticity I am feeling. Or I’ll be tired and just peace out.

 

Either way, it really has been a Slice. As I’m writing and thinking, yes, it is about me. But once I submit and go out into the day’s work done by all of you, that’s when the purpose of this thing hits me full blast every day. I have been so inspired and moved by both your stories and your craft. Honestly. Such a great collection of minds and hearts. So, from the bottom of mine, thank you.

One thought on “writer wrong -the search for authenticity

  1. I agree, I too have been inspired by the stories and craft I’ve encountered during this month. Tomorrow for the last slice, I’d like to write something grand as well, but the filter is always there.

    Like

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