I voted today. Then I went to the gym (I’m very careful and it’s dead when I go, don’t judge) for round one, now I’m checking in with students and hanging out with my kids before going back for round two. After both jaunts I do my now daily circle through Target to the back and around to look at empty toilet paper shelves with ever dwindling hope. (yesterday I visited TEN total stores and trekked literally the entire Amazon. Nothing)
Today, amidst all of which is becoming my new schedule, I realized that I am finding enhanced focus on these tasks. Voting might not be the control we are sometimes fed to believe, but my vote is something I can control. I am killing it in the gym and with my diet and am actually somehow finding great balance between calm, understanding fun and keeping my kids (online and in front of me) as engaged as possible with brain stuffs. It’s impossible for me to comprehend that toilet paper manufacturing is no longer a thing but I will do my best to be where it is when it comes back.
Because, control. There is so much out there we can’t control. We know this even when the world isn’t in flux but man, that feeling sure is intensified now. I can control my exercise and diet. I can flex my teacher muscles as well as my SEL muscles on my kids near and far. I can drive around like an idiot looking for toilet paper.
I can’t control those I know getting the virus. I worry about it getting worse and not being with my kids. Or my girlfriend, or grandparents, or friends, or a majority of my family that’s all the way in Florida. I can’t control that I didn’t plan for this with those considerations in mind. Mostly because I didn’t know it was coming. Out of my control. It’s a sort of, where-you-were-on-the-bridge situation, life-wise, when the crack formed.
I can control letting them know I love them. I can control doing what I can, from my spot on the bridge, while all this is happening. So, I will.