If one were to look randomly at any of my slices, I fear, They would most likely categorize me as a drama queen. In my head they would, at least. And I am opening this one by analyzing myself as people see me through a yearly blog thing so let’s throw in a generous dash of narcissism too, shall we? The thing is, I have always soaked the act of writing in importance and I guess I conflate importance with drama, or depth maybe. In reality what I do each day is…attempted depth? Because of the aforementioned importance soaking. It seems I completely stopped being self conscious about my inability to do this with any level of brevity, so that’s progress. Or admitted failure? Who knows.
Reflection on that stuff in preparation for today’s slice made me decide to not judge and label the depths of my life today and just continue to reflect. Besides, despite what the wiki synopsis of what goes on in my head daily would read, every day is not a rollercoaster of trauma and/or ecstasy. So, two thoughts I had on this lovely, normal Sunday – with no judgement or analysis (this is the plan anyways) or, as it were, brevity.
First – as a teacher do you all find yourselves constantly punctuating thoughts out loud (I think normal people call this conversation) with non-students of yours with the tag, “I tell my student that all the time”, or, “it’s just like I told my students the other day”? Just a reflection. I’m not sure if it means we come up with some pretty smart things on the fly at work and obviously we’re always trying for real life applications to things we teach so they just naturally translate? Or, like we don’t want to waste those choice little nuggets on a one-time use? Well, if they come out for my first group of kids the following three will be blessed with this genius knowledge too, obviously, so maybe a four-time use. Ok, I said no analysis. I don’t know if anyone else does that but I noticed that I do kind of a lot.
The other thing I noticed is that I used to LOVE my alone time. Not just as a father of three but even before kids. Before kids I was a million times more of a social butterfly, whereas now I like to cocoon way more, but now I like to cocoon with other people. Covid aside I enjoy more and more the months-long gaps between when we actually “go out” with friends. I love seeing my people but hearts do grow fond in absentia so it’s always much needed when it happens. But now, on rare occasions where it is just me, I find myself maybe reading or just screwing around on my phone with social media and trivia games. These days I find myself on social media only during those rare times so that’s a good thing. The point is, it’s hard, now, for me to want to watch a movie or start a new show or whatever just by myself. I used to really look forward to it. Hours on a weekend or even after a long work day if I can end it early enough, with my kids or my girl, just being quiet and still together, is heaven to me. That’s new. Even when I do decide to watch a movie or something solo I have this one buddy (just one) who has always had the same interests in shows and movies as I do and I always text him and demand he watch it as well. Preferably right now while I am. I think this started when we were both watching New Girl as it was happening. Our DVR schedules lined up surprisingly well but we could each always expect random quote texts with lines from that week’s episode at any given moment indicating to one that the other was in the happy place and throwing lines out that the other will definitely like.
I don’t know what’s up with this newfound appreciation for quality time, I don’t need to track it or define or label it. Not today anyways. I just noticed this new different thing today. It’s like I always tell my students, “it’s important to track a character through the changes they undergo as the plot moves along.” Today was just about noticing and reflecting. No depths or agony. Now, last time I had a few solo minutes I saw a Tick Tock that showed how to make an upside down cast iron pizza and I have been dying to have someone to try cooking it for so I’m going to go do that now. Hope everyone had a nice weekend.